And we don't think that showing that it hurts to cut yourself deters anyone, it just makes her seem more like a strong, determined woman of power who manages to overcome the pain. It makes suicide sound worthwhile, even if at a high cost. This is presenting suicide as your best option of dealing with a problematic life. "If you're alive and noone cares, they ignore you and hurt you then suicide will make everyone listen to what you have to say and the people who were mean to you will feel really ashamed and stop being mean." It took us a while to realise how the worst part of it was how it presented suicide as empowerment. If I battle looks and questions everyday, what will I receive once I am seen with a LGBTQA+ spoken word poet? The constant fear runs through my head as every Pride event comes together and the word is spread. I fear that I will be marked as an outcast and be ostracized from the student body. I fear that after a huge event like a Drag Show, that I will face micro-aggressions or even hateful comments. Is my Pride shirt too much? Are my shorts too long? Are my clothes too baggy? Is my hair too short? Does my tie look too masculine? Just like any other member of the LGBTQA+ I am very excited for Pride week, but I will admit I am very nervous for the reactions that will come from it. On a Jesuit, catholic campus, I always worry about other’s reactions to just my daily appearance. Even though we have worked tirelessly attempting to make Pride week the best show of queer culture, all of us will admit to being worried about the reaction. Sometimes your day consists of battling stares, questions and public restrooms, so just imagine the reaction of the week of pure Pride and demonstrating the wonderful aspects of gayness. Going to a Jesuit University is not easy for anyone who is a part of the LGBTQA+ community. So, as I’m laying in my bed in my college dorm unable to sleep, I conjured up this image of my mom driving to Delaware with a ladder attached to the car and parking behind my building and climbing to my window just to sing the song to me. I remember asking my mom once if she came into my room at night like the mom in the book. Anytime I come across those words in my everyday life, whether it be through social media or somebody bringing it up in conversation, it feels like my mom is with me and not an hour and a half away. It’s something that has just stuck with me through the years and is a special bond that I have with my mom. Throughout the years even though my mom and I weren’t reading the book she would still recite the song, My mom would read it to me before bed and I would always laugh at the part where the toddler would throw his moms watch into the toilet. I grew up reading this book what feels like almost every night.
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